🖕 FUCK SECURITY 🖕

The most honest IT Security cheatsheet for devs & admins who don't have time for bullshit
WARNING: This page contains explicit language and brutal honesty about IT security. If you get triggered by direct words, go back to your corporate security guidelines.

🚨 The "Holy Shit, I Should Have Known This" Basics

Passwords - Or: Why "password123" is fucking terrible

Real Talk: If your password policy is weaker than your coffee, you're fucked.

Password Checklist (Check this off, noob!):





Input Validation - Trust Nobody, Not Even Yourself

Every input is evil until proven otherwise. Period.

// BAD (RIP your DB): $query = "SELECT * FROM users WHERE id = " . $_GET['id']; // GOOD (you survive another day): $stmt = $pdo->prepare("SELECT * FROM users WHERE id = ?"); $stmt->execute([$id]);
SQL Injection is like unprotected sex: Feels good for a moment, but the consequences are devastating.

HTTPS - Because HTTP stands for "Help, The Hacker's Partying"

Using HTTP in 2025 is like using a cheese condom. Let's Encrypt is free, you have no excuse!

Pro-Tip: Set HSTS headers so browsers can't downgrade to HTTP.

🛡️ The "Shit, I Forgot to..." Section

Updates - Yes, even the annoying ones

Unpatched software is like an open window with a "Please Break In" sign. Auto-updates are your friend.

Update Checklist:




Least Privilege - Or: Why your web user doesn't need sudo

Give only the rights that are absolutely necessary. Everything else is like giving fireworks to a toddler.

// Your web user should look like THIS: CREATE USER 'webapp'@'localhost' IDENTIFIED BY 'strong_password'; GRANT SELECT, INSERT, UPDATE ON myapp.* TO 'webapp'@'localhost'; // NOT: GRANT ALL ON *.* TO 'webapp'@'%'; -- You psychopath!

Logging - Because "it worked yesterday" isn't a debugging strategy

Log everything that matters. But don't log passwords, you genius.

Never ever log: Passwords, Credit Card Numbers, Personal Data, API Keys

🔥 Advanced Shit for Those Who Actually Give a Damn

Content Security Policy (CSP)

XSS is like herpes - once it's in, it's hard to get out. CSP is your condom.

Content-Security-Policy: default-src 'self'; script-src 'self' 'unsafe-inline'; style-src 'self' 'unsafe-inline';

Rate Limiting

Without rate limiting, your API is like an all-you-can-eat buffet for bots.

Backup & Recovery

Backups without recovery tests are like condoms without quality control. Test your shit!

Backup Reality Check:




🧠 Security Mindset - Think Like a Paranoid Asshole

Golden Rule: If you think "nobody will exploit this", someone will exploit it.

Threat Modeling in 30 seconds:

  1. What could go wrong?
  2. How likely is it?
  3. How fucked would we be?
  4. What do we do about it?

🚀 Quick Wins - Low Effort, High Impact

The bare minimum for people with time problems:






🎯 Resources for People Who Want More

💀 Common Fuckups and How to Avoid Them

Classic Mistakes:

🔒 The "Oh Shit" Emergency Checklist

When you realize you've been pwned: